Birth Day/Nevershoutnever

It's been a week since my birthday. A year ago I would never imagined my thirteenth birthday to be the way it was. I mean the actual day was great, but I didn't have the same feeling that I usually do. My life is so different than I would expected. No best friend. No person (other than one family) to lean on. One of the things that has gotten me through it? Music, as always. Especially Nevershoutnever. Christofer Drew Ingle (the genius behind it all) has saved me. He is amazing. It doesn't hurt that he's cute too. He sounds just as good live as he does on the record. His range is amazing. I'm looking forward to his full-length in January. I even MAYBE will get to go to a concert in New Orleans. Listen to "Liar,Liar", "Heregoesnorhing", and "Simple Enough".

It's been so long since I posted anything. Two months to be exact. A lot has happened. The new Paramore record came out, my brother's birthday, and the fact that Jerrica has completely replaced me.The new record is amazing. It sounds like they hardly auto-tuned it at all ( which is a good thing) and you can really hear Hayley's voice. I love every part of it. It was the worth the wait. This week is my brothers birthday. He's ten. He always gets mad because i never mention him. So look Harrison, I just did.The main point of this post is the fact that Jerrica has completely and absolutely replaced me. First we were just meeting new people and not talking as much. But then, she met HER. I won't say HER name, but after Jerrica met her she started to worship HER. I can't say much else though. So I guess that's it. Listen to Mayday Parade's When I Get Home Your So Dead

School

School has started. I'm a week into it and I finally got my locker open on Wednesday. Most people would leave it at that, but I won't. I was nervous the entire first three days. In other words felt sick. There were three things that helped me through it though. 1. Remembering Sunday 2.Jasey Rae 3.Ignorance. Sure they're all songs, but music means a lot to me. My iPod hardly ever leaves my side. Even at school (it's sits waiting for me in my mom's car in the parking lot)...........................(a week passes)

This are pretty much the same as last week if not better. I'm not as nervous. I'm doing really good in my classes. It's only the first the first week though(*thinks to self* Mary stop doing that. You always think the worst of yourself. You always do great). I got my MCT2 scores back. I got Advanced on both my English and Math test. I knew I probably did because I got in both the Math and English honors classes.

Jerrica already has a boyfriend. He likes the same bands we do (which is great). He has nice hair (also great). Did I have a little crush on him at first? Yes. She knows that now and considered breaking up with him but I said it was okay. You see, he's in my homeroom. He sits a table away from me. I admit the first day I didn't even realize he was in my homeroom. But I did notice him. I would never had known his name unless Jerrica had told me she liked him. the reason I said I didn't care was because when she asked him in P.E. (i go to band so i wasn't there)
if he knew if he knew who "Mary Holland" was (btw she didn't know I liked him then, but I knew that she did) he had no idea. So why chase someone who doesn't bother to know who you are. Okay and I may be just a little bit jealous.

Speaking of band, we have our first football game this Thursday. My mom (former drum-major of the award winning Stone County marching band) is chaperoning my bus. I'm kind of glad she'll be there for my first game. Too bad Jerrica quit band. : ( I guess that's all I have to say.

Sincerely,
Mary/ ParaMary/ Bella/ Leah
(P.S. listen to "Into Your Arms" by The Maine. I'm in love with it.)

So much for writing every day. I bought an iPod Touch, so I'm hardly ever on the computer any more. Since I last posted my uncle got married, we had the big Holland family reunion, and I've fallen in love with All Time Low. They're amazing. My new all time favorite song is Remembering Sunday by All Time Low. I also have been watching a lot of Shane Dawaon's YouTube videos. They're a little vulgar and weird, they're really funny. Check out "Emo Breakup". I'm sending this via email so I can post a little at a time.
Till next time,
Mary = ParaMary / Bella / Leah

Sent from my iPod

Reply To Hayley William's Post

Hayley Williams recently posted this on livejounal (excerpt).......

"......it’s scary when you start to really know yourself.. and learn who you are… in spite of what people think you are. that’s been the last 2 years of my life. holding on to what i believe and love. learning my heart and not apologizing for it. it’s a hard thing to do. you lose people and in some cases, stability. until you wonder if it was even worth it to hold fast to what matters to YOU. is it worth it? i am still learning. finding out if it’s okay with me that i give up preconceived notions of what it means to have it all. cause sometimes having your heart in tact feels like the loneliest thing in the world. if there’s anything that ties all 3 of our records together… as different as i say they are… it’s this one common thread: you can receive blessings. you can have your dreams. but they all come at a cost. you have to give up something. as for me? in my personal life, i gave up comfort, acceptance, stability. in order to break away from a facade that i felt i lived beneath for a long time. i gave up what a lot of people knew as “Hayley” in order to be who i believe is the real me. and in order to live life more fully. 18…19…20, it’s a pretty normal age to do a thing like that, right? everything comes at a cost. not one thing in life, with any value, is free.

so what do you value? what cost the most? and was it worth what you paid?......"

This is how I commented...

I feel like you took a deep breath after writing that. You guys helped me find myself. I’m not just the sweet little girl that makes good grades and never gets in trouble. I’m that plus I love alternative and dress in punk fashion. Before that I was lost;I didn’t know where I was going next. I know who I am now.

What I value? Knowing and being who I am.

What is the cost? Troubled looks from family members,turned up noses from former friends,and scornful glares from people who don’t agree.

Was it worth it? Completely.I know who I am. I walk proudly ,with my head held high, knowing that I am who I am and no one can change that.

I thank them for so much. Maybe that's the reason they're such a big part in my life. I may be posting every day now that I'm out of school (I was second in the class.My best friend beat me by 0.4). I don't care if know one ever reads my blog. I'll keep writing. I'm free to say what I feel not having any boundaries. I do it because I love it, not because people are listening.

QUICK POST!PARAMORE ON DISNEY CHANNEL!UG!

The world is ending!! Ending I tell you!!! Ok maybe I'm overreacting. Ok there's no maybe in it but still. Paramore's "Decode" is on Disney XD. Exposure is good ,but this? The end my soon come to them, well at least the way they are is. The reason I liked the Twilight movie because it still had an independent film feel with all the craze over it. Paramore has had that for so long but could this be the end of it? Could it?

The Gifted Program

Legislature met lately in Mississippi to discuss add-on programs. This includes the gifted program. The program my mother teaches. I would die if the canceled it and, so would many others. All the students in our gifted program had/has a IQ (intellectual quotient) level of 120 or over. The average IQ level for the general population is only 90. Most of us took this test this test in the summer between first and second grade. Probably all of the valedictorians in our county have been in this program or should have been. Nearly all my friends are in it too and one of us is bound to finish in at least the top five or ten in our class.It's one of the only places we can be ourselves because we can be ourselves. Where

Maybe it will survive and my mother will keep her job. The had a scare when No Child Left Behind came around with all that "closing the gap" stuff. Nonsense is what it was. If it does get canceled you'll bound to see me on T.V. protesting for my rights. I ask the legislature this: What would you rather do? Save a little bit of money and take away from a child's education or, cut something else ,that is actually unnecessary, and keep the wonderful programs like this one in schools?

Protected

I wrote this just before spring break and have been tinkering with it since then. So enjoy!

We are all protected
By something that isn't alive
Weather a favorite book
Or beloved iPod
Something in which to put your heart
And attempt to make others'
Splendidly appealing thoughts and feelings of happiness
your very own
Protected

These things shelter us
They give us a place to hide from the truth
A place to hide from what we know in our hearts we want-
A beating,loving heart
A soothing voice
For the music
Nor the book
Loves us
We only feel we need it to fill the space that is left
Protected

We want something that's real
Something that is alive
And will always be there
No matter how we try
To hide and shy away
To shine needed light on us
Keeping us safer than the other things ever did
Protected

But when you have what you wanted
You know the truth
And you've found what you once longed for
No protection is needed
The book nor the iPod is a necessity anymore
Because what you once only believed in "fairy tales"
Which filled the songs and books
That seemed to keep you "alive"
Has become real in your life
No longer having
Protection

Enough so
To fill dozens of books and songs
For the rest of the group
To which you once belonged
Giving them what you needed
A little hope and .............
Protection


But Maybe it wasn't your protection at all
That was given
And alas,it was just .........

Hope

I LOVE this dude's music. He is amazing! Danish and a lot older than me though. He does awesome covers and writes good songs. I found him through searching 'Paramore covers' on YouTube. His name is Matt Lysgaard. No I don't have much to report, but I just couldn't wait to post this one thing.

It seems like I haven't written in ages, and well I really haven't. So much drama goes on at school. None of it to do directly with me. I am both delighted and saddened by this. but on to that later. I finally got on my mom's computer and sent the pictures she persisted to forget to send of the dress my best friends and I designed. Yes, those are uniforms. Oh, i hate them!(My I add that we are mere sixth graders and these pictures were taken from my mom's computer and are not the best)
The blond is Sara and the light brunette is Jerrica. We had to create a dress for our library system's Twilight Prom using a sheet,some thread,crepe paper (found under skirt),some ribbon,and a pair of scissors in our gifted class(which my mother teaches). I wore it to lunch. Lunch at the middle school. Thank goodness only eighth graders were in there (they'll be gone to the high school next year) and that my friends (Charli,Sara,and Beckah) wore togas so I wouldn't look so ridiculous. Oh, and Jerrica wore paint covered scrubs. Mr. Starr (another gifted teacher) nudged my brother and said " Hey, your sister's wearing a sheet". It was hilarrious!

I'll have pictures of the Twilight Prom soon

Paramore!!!

I recently got my Paramore Fan Club membership package. This sounds really wacky but to me its not. I love Paramore;so why can't I express that to the world? Fall Out Boy was the first alternative band that I fell in love with and then Jerrica introduced me to Paramore. I was thinking about the differences between Paramore and Fall Out Boy. Fall Out Boy's fame didn't come at first and Paramore's kinda did. Paramore seems to REALLY care for their fans (a characteristic that I hope they will keep for the rest of their career). Fall Out Boy does care for their fans,but to me it doesn't seem the quantity of care as Paramore. Maybe I'm just being bitter but this is just what I believe.



I recently found this blog called "Broken Wings Falling Into the Unknown". She is heartbroken and knows that her heart will always belong to "Luke". Ah, If she only new how lucky she is just to know who her Edward is. Jerrica has finally found her Emmet (he is most likely it). He's serious and not (attention-based kind)crazy. I mean he's like Jerrica and me;we can be calm and mellow but also be crazily creative when we're around people like us (gifted students). His role model is Pete Wentz. Most of the guys she's dated didn't even know who Pete Wentz is. In fact I am kinda jealous. She has a person who fits her. Maybe a person will came along that is the same for me. Loves Paramore,good in school, watches Heroes,thinks communication is important, can wear skinny jeans ,graphic tees,and checkered vans without feeling weird,yada,yada,ya. Does anyone else fit this description other than me?

The New Year Is Here

I haven't written lately because well I'm a forgetful person and my life isn't that interesting. But you know what,blogging is also about thoughts and ideas. So today I'll start with a topic that has appeared more than once on the silver platter of conversation at my house. The topic is : Why don't they make ethanol out of sugar cane? This may sound stupid,but why not? We use corn for so many things. Making ethanol out of corn just makes the prices of other things that are made out of corn go up. One of the only things we use sugar cane for is,well sugar. Yes the price of sugar cane would go up,but to make up for that we have synthetic sugars like aspartame and sodium saccharin. Will this ever happen? Probably not any time soon because our new president as of tomorrow's pick for the head of agriculture is from the great plains. You know what they grow there? What's that ...............corn? (No I did not draw the picture at the top)

And now a portion where Mary lists one of the troubles in her life. Today's trouble is a woman named Sandra Mowry. Known to Lucedale Intermediate School as Mrs.Mowry. She teaches 6th grade social studies. I like social studies,but I hate her. It's not just me. Everyone hates her. She'll give you something and expect you to know when it's due. Amazingly,I just made a 100 on my report card. I guess she just fell asleep while she was typing in grades.

To finish up I have news. Remember my best friend Jerrica. She now has a blog called " here we go again ". Her posts are short and our english teacher would be every disappoionted in her grammar,punctuation,and capitalazation (don't worry I'm talking to her as I write.She says she's going to slap me but she never will). I still love her like a sister though.